My King
by Chaos in the Moonlight
Summary: Alexander suffers one of the greatest losses of his life and as always, and forever, Hephaistion is there. Written for the bi-weekly Alexander Alphabet Challenge.


Title: My King  
Pairing(s): Hephaistion/Alexander  
Rating: NC-17  
Disclaimer: I own nothing, nothing is true ... these are the lies I have created.  
Warning(s): m/m slash, angst, love  
Feedback: Feed my muse please.  
Note: Written for bi-weekly Alexander Alphabet Challenge.

*****

"Where is he?" Hephaistion stormed into the prince's chamber, eyes wild with anger at the guards picking through Alexander's things.

"We do not answer to you, young Hephaistion," one of the men smirked, scooping up an armful of chitons. "You hold no power over us whether you lay with the prince or not."

Hephaistion growled deep in his throat as he rushed the man, one hand wrapping around his neck while he shoved him hard against the wall. "I've not the time nor the patience to dispute what power I do or do not hold, nor whether I shall report you for stealing that lovely trinket you just shoved under your chiton. I merely require you to tell me where ... Alexander ... is."

"Yes, my _lord_, you might try the king's chambers. I believe General Cleitus was going to escort him there."

With one last jostle, Hephaistion released the man, silently holding out his hand. The guard placed the object in his palm and mumbled an apology while Hephaistion turned on his heel and hurried from the room.

It wasn't until he'd halfway reached his intended destination that he unclenched the object in his hand, holding it between two fingers and slowing his pace. The gold ring mirrored the one Hephaistion wore on his right hand, both being a gift from Aristotle when they pair had completed their schooling.

_"I give you these to insure you always will remember the other and always with respect and care. And in times of trouble and discord, I ask that you hold them close to your hearts so they might remind you of the roads you've already traveled and conquered as boys, and the roads you will travel and conquer as men. Be true to yourselves and to each other, and all else will fall into place as it is meant to be."_

Hephaistion allowed a small smile to placate his distressed face as he fondly remembered the teacher who had in some ways taken the place of both his and Alexander's busy fathers. Aristotle was the first to recognize the loving relationship between the boys, the one who watched closely as their boyhood friendship turned into teenage love and adoration. Hephaistion missed him dearly and cherished the correspondence they still shared. He wished with all his heart that the brilliant scholar was there to help Alexander through this most difficult time, for he feared even his own love and devotion would fail to bring peace and resolution to his lover's heart and soul.

*****

The door to the King's chamber was partially ajar and foregoing any decorum or formality, Hephaistion slipped into the room unnoticed. Cleitus sat perfectly still in a chair by the grand bed, his body bent forward, head held firmly in his hands. Hephaistion felt all the aggression and anger he had been feeling since Alexander had been ripped from his arms earlier that day, slip away and be replaced with sadness as he watched the man grip the black strands of his hair and pull harshly.

"General Cleitus?" he finally said into the solemn room. "I'm sorry to bother you during your time of mourning, but I'm looking for Alexander. Have you by chance seen him?"

It was another minute before Cleitus straightened his body and lifted his head, his eyes red and troubled, his face sober and sad. "I'd had a mind to seek you out some time ago to see if he was with you."

"No, I haven't seen him since you dragged him from my arms and told me to stay away from him ... after Philip was killed." Hephaistion paused as the general averted his eyes to the floor at the mention of the king's name, but as sorry as the younger man felt for bringing up the tragedy, he still had only one thing on his mind that was of any importance to him. "I need to see him, Cleitus. It's been hours, might I not finally be with him again?"

"Aye. You might if he were here, lad. I'm sorry I sent you away but he had to be taken quickly before there was any sort of disturbance." Cleitus rose from the chair, shoved the hair from his face and straightened his chiton. "I'd hoped it was you that he'd sought when he gave his guards the slip."

"I saw them in his room just now. Are they not meant to be there?"

"Yes, they are, but he was meant to be with them as well, gathering some items he wished to have for his first night in his father's rooms. The men turned their backs and he was gone."

"And you're not doing anything to look for him?" Hephaistion argued, his cerulean eyes flashing as he began to back out of the room, fully intent on finding his love. "How can you remain here absorbed in your own grief when he's missing and possibly in danger?"

"I'll not have you speak to me in that way, boy!" Cleitus fumed, stepping forward and grabbing Hephaistion by the arm. "Show some respect in his majesty's chamber!"

Hephaistion allowed the older man to shove him backwards. His accusations were truly unfounded and he felt horrible for causing the man more pain when he knew he was already suffering. "I'm sorry Cleitus. I've overstepped my boundaries, and you truly have my sincerest apologies and condolences."

"He's been found, Hephaistion, not yet approached, but found. And I don't require more condolences than any other member of the army."

Hephaistion frowned knowingly, not believing the general, but not wanting to upset him further. The rumors of the love that Cleitus held for Philip had been filtering their way through Macedonia since before Hephaistion could even remember, and he felt a certain kinship with the general because of it. "He was a great man, Cleitus."

"Bah! He was a harsh, unfeeling drunkard of a man and you know it." Cleitus threw back his head and let go of Hephaistion's arm.

"And you loved him."

The general shook his head and threw up a hand, turning his back on the young man and walking towards the door. It was the strongest indication of the truth that the Hephaistion had ever heard or seen him give. "As you wish. Now, might you tell me where Alexander is or am I still prohibited from seeing him?"

"No, of course not. I believe you're probably the only one who can get close to him at this moment anyhow. He all but destroyed one of the guards who tried to corner him as he was _escaping_."

"He's safe though?"

"Aye, he's completely safe and completely in need of his favorite companion, I hazard to guess. You probably already know where he is since I believe it is a common spot for the two of you," Cleitus managed a small grin but it quickly faded as he let his eyes wander back to the great bed. "He's in the clearing by the stream. I believe I've had to send men to recover the two of you from that very spot on numerous occasions. Do you know of where I speak?"

"I do. Thank you Cleitus and I am sorry for your loss."

Cleitus nodded slightly. "Bring him back, Hephaistion, and assure him you'll not be taken from him again."

*****

Alexander heard the footsteps getting closer; the snap of a twig on the ground, the rustle of low-hanging leaves, the chatter of birds as they were disturbed from their resting places. He reared up from his crouched position, eyes flaring with anger at the person who dared disturb his solitude at such a time.

"I'll warn you only once to stay back!" he called out into the darkness.

"And then you'll what?" the voice answered; the familiar voice that made Alexander's heart skip a beat. "Punish me? Take your frustration and pain out on me? I'd allow that even if you hadn't warned me, Xander."

"Hephaistion?" Alexander whispered as the man stepped from the shadows and smiled warmly at him. Hephaistion; his beloved, his lover, his best friend, his heart, his Phai. "How did you find me?"

"You know not of the six men posted just there at the clearing? All of them afraid for their lives of disturbing you. You know you've scared the life out of all those at the palace, do you not?"

Alexander shook his head. "They have no need to worry. They know I can take care of myself."

When Hephaistion realized that his love seemed to be rooted to his spot on the ground, he moved slowly towards him, noticing the dried tears and red eyes that tainted the beautiful face even in the setting of the sun. "But you have more responsibilities now, Xander. You simply cannot disappear for hours without causing an uproar. Are you alright?"

Alexander avoided Hephaistion's eyes, turning his body and retreating to the side of the river. He wished only to wrap himself around his love, to be held in his strong arms and hear him whisper that everything would be fine, to have Phai just love him as only he could. But something stopped him, something he didn't understand nor wanted to understand. His heart pained him in a way he'd never experienced before, in a way he hoped he would never feel again, in a way that even seeing the man he loved could not alleviate. He threw himself to the ground beside the river, his hands covering his face, his mind willing his body to not fall apart ... again.

"Alexander?" Hephaistion said softly, stepping behind the man. "Do you wish to be alone, love? Do you wish me to go?"

"No!" Alexander said loudly, his mind reeling with what he actually wanted. He knew what he wanted, but the confusion of the day's events, the confusion of having his father die in his arms had flung his thoughts into total disarray, and clouded all the feelings he would normally allow himself to feel. He feared he would never be able to express those feelings again to Hephaistion if he allowed the man to see him completely break down.

Hephaistion moved silently, placing a leg on either side of Alexander's hips and sitting directly behind him, his muscled chest pressed tightly against his lover's back. He wrapped his arms protectively around the broken man, entwining one hand in Alexander's while the other stroked his distressed face.

There were many things he wanted to say, many questions he wanted to ask, but he knew there would be time for that, and he knew that what Alexander truly needed the most was exactly what he was already doing. Despite his angry outburst earlier, Hephaistion knew he was the only one who could bring calmness to Alexander's mind, the only one who he trusted enough to truly allow himself to feel what was roiling around inside himself, and though he feared he might not be able to remove all the thoughts that were plaguing his love, he was relieved to feel him finally relax back into his arms.

"I need you, Phai. I need you with me," Alexander whispered as he tipped his head back into Hephaistion's neck.

"You have me, Xander," Hephaistion murmured against his hair. "For now and for always."

"Do you think he recognized that I was there at the end?" Alexander said suddenly, his fingers clenching Hephaistion's.

"I do," Hephaistion replied, wrapping his arms tighter and kissing the side of Alexander's face. "He knew you loved him, Alexander, 'twas not something you ever had to say for him to know it."

Alexander sighed and nuzzled his head further into Hephaistion's warm skin. "He was not the easiest man to love, but I did love him. iBut/i I do not wish to move into his chamber, I wish to stay in my own rooms. The mere thought just chills me to the bone."

"Perhaps you can remain in your own rooms for a while and then make the transition. I'm sure your request cannot be tossed aside when it is coming from the new king. But there is more to your troubles, is there not?"

Alexander's silence and fluttering of his eyes was a clear enough indication that Hephaistion had struck a truth. "What is it you fear?"

"Oh, who knows these things," Alexander responded quickly, dipping his head to his chest. He felt Hephaistion shift behind him, moving away and taking the warmth of his body with him. "You don't mean to leave me, do you?"

Hephaistion frowned as he crawled to face Alexander, straddling his lap and kneeling chest to chest, faces close enough to feel the breath of the other on their lips. "I most certainly do not mean to leave you, Alexander. You're everything I care for, do you not know that by now?"

Alexander leaned his forehead to Hephaistion's, his hands coming up to twist in the man's auburn hair. This was what he needed, this was all he needed, this was the most important feeling in the world; to be loved by Hephaistion. "I fear I will be a disappointment, Phai. I fear I will disappoint those who have praised me, those who rally for my kingship. I fear I will disappoint my mother who has always had such high hopes and dreams for me. I fear I will disappoint my father's memory and not be the kind of ruler that deserves his succession. But most of all ... I fear I will disappoint you ..."

Hephaistion's lips on Alexander's cut off the words attempting to leave his mouth. Lips that were as soft and loving, yet firm and determined. as the man himself. Oh, how Alexander relished being kissed by those lips. Oh, how he longed for that mouth to always be held against his own, the sweet taste of the man he loved arousing all his senses. As he pressed his body and lips closer to Hephaistion's, all the fears in his head seemed to dissipate and become mere thoughts, mixing with all the other thoughts he was always able to push to the side when he was in Hephaistion's arms.

Both breathless and heaving, the two men broke their kiss and stared intently into each other's eyes. Hephaistion was pleased to see some of the sadness gone from Alexander's dark orbs, some of the passion that was usually there returned rightly to its place. "You shall never disappoint me, Xander," he whispered, his fingers tracing the contours of his lover's face.

"All I know is I trust only you in this world. It is you I love, Hephaistion, no other."

Hephaistion's heart and mind soared with Alexander's words and the emotions that poured out of his eyes, and though he knew there would be a day when Alexander would be forced to love another or at least be forced to marry and produce an heir, he knew the words to be true and righteous.

"I adore you, Alexander, and I will always honor that trust and love you have for me and return it twofold. Is your mind a little more at ease now, my love?" He wiped a tear from the man's cheek then kissed the salty trail it had left, his lips lingering a moment longer than necessary to just enjoy the taste and feel of Alexander's soft skin.

"I have something for you," Hephaistion said softly, removing the ring he had pushed onto his own finger at the palace. "Do you remember what Aristotle told us? What these rings that we share represent?" He placed the ring on Alexander's finger and brought it to his lips.

The prince nodded, his forehead coming to lean against Hephaistion's once again. "They represent the honor and love we have for one another, the bond we share and always will." He gently took Hephaistion's hand in his own and placed it over his heart while Hephaistion did the same with his. "And holding them close to our hearts will ensure we always remember where we came from and where we are going ... together. I know that with you by my side, I shall never be lacking in the love and support I need. And I honor and love you in ways no one will ever understand, Phai."

Pushing Alexander to his back, Hephaistion pressed their mouths together again, his tongue caressing the crease in his lover's lips until it was sucked inside the warmth of Alexander's mouth. His body pressed full force on top of his lover's while both their members strained against the thin layers of clothing separating them as they were crushed together.

"I wish to make love to you, Xander," Hephaistion whispered, pressing open-mouthed kisses to Alexander's jaw. "Might you grant me the love I seek?"

Alexander needed no words to express his approval, he simply spread his legs so his lover could lie between them and wrapped his arms unwaveringly around his neck. Passionate and desperate kissing ensued, followed by chitons and undergarments being removed, hands caressing and exploring, mouths licking and sucking, and naked bodies being crushed tightly together.

Hephaistion entered Alexander with a lustful sigh while Alexander tipped his head back and waited for the initial pain to turn into pleasure. "Are you alright, my love?" Hephaistion murmured as he began to move slowly inside the tight channel of his lover's body. He stopped his movement when he noticed something clouding Alexander's eyes. "Why do you cry, Xander? Do you wish me to stop?"

"No, Phai," Alexander purred, lifting his head to kiss Hephaistion gently on the mouth. "I cry because it is only you who can make me feel so secure and wanted ... and loved. Promise me you'll be with me always ... 'til the end?"

Hephaistion's clear blue eyes hazed over with his own tears as he leaned his head down and kissed the tip of Alexander's nose. "Always, my King ... always."


End file.
